When you're literal*ly a book 'ho

Truth Serum Tell #17

Apr 08, 2024

Why do you read anything you don’t have to read?

Why do you pick the books you pick, if you pick any at all?

These were the questions posed by

Sara Benincasa

over at

Saratonin

in a (paywalled) post titled Why Do We Read What We Read.

Why, indeed.

If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you know I’m a reader. I’ve mentioned it several times. I give all the credit to my mom for instilling in me a love of the written word. I didn’t get a chance to read the full post, but the sneak peek I got inspired me to do a riff-off.

The books I read did nothing whatsoever for my sex life, but I thought I might share why I read what I read and how.

Disclaimer: This turned out to be a really deep dive and will appear as a HELLA LONG post in your inbox, so you may need to fully view this in your browser.

Welcome to Lit*er*al*ly, Ororo, a weekly blog by me, Ororo Munroe. You are reading Truth Serum Tells, posts about deeper life shit. No needles or toxic, mind-bending drugs were used to write these posts. Thanks for reading.

I would like to start off by saying,

My name is Ororo Munroe and I’m a Book ‘Ho.

I am not a bookworm, although I love to snuggle down in bed to read.

Nor am I a bookdragoness because I no longer hoard books.

I’m a Book ‘Ho.

And my “john” of choice is adult romance.

A little HERstory…

I wish I could remember how I made the leap into reading a billion-dollar industry. When I was in the 7^th grade, the Writing Bug left a quarter-sized bite on my ass. It was an itch I scratched til it bled and I loved it. My overactive imagination was on FIYAH writing young adult fiction.

My goal, at the time, was to publish traditionally. Until I did the research and decided that route was a no-go. I eventually ended up indie publishing my two YA novels.

But I digress.

Even though I was writing YA, I wasn’t reading it. The stories I wrote had romance elements in them, but I think the ones I was trying to read didn’t; so, I got bored. My sister was into those Sweet Valley High books, but for the life of me, I don’t remember much beyond Ramona Quimby and Harriet the Spy. LOL

Apparently, I needed more excitement.

And I got it when I discovered “bodice rippers.”

It was like the heavens opened and the Romance Goddess said, “Here. I know it’s rough being a black girl crushing on all these white boys. Let me give you these fine as fuck book boyfriends instead.”

I washed her feet, blessed her name (Romantica? Venus? I dunno. She never told me her name) and have been worshipping at her altar ever since.

Now that I’m taking the time to reflect on why I love this genre, I believe it’s because I’m living the phrase “product of your environment.”

I am the whitest black woman you will ever meet.

Guaranteed you will never hear that from another black person, but in my case, it’s true. The neighborhoods we lived in, the schools we attended, we were always the minority; a drop of a chocolate in a sea of milk.

All my friends are white.

My two long-time BFFs are white.

My first crush was a white boy named Chris Tiller in the 4^th (maybe 5^th) grade. And then it snowballed from there.

Ross Monaco in 7^th or 8^th grade (a white basketball player at my school).

In high school, it was Georges Mouqay (a European exchange student), Mark Reid (a dude in my Spanish class), and famous people like Rob Lowe (Oh My LORDT, I had a serious love jones for this dude) and Christopher Atkins.

The music I listened to was all white people: New Kids on The Block (I lurved me some Jordan Knight), Color Me Badd (Bryan Abrams. YOWZA!), A-Ha (Gah! Lurved Morten Harket), LFO (Devin Lima, Unh! *chefs kiss*)… I’m sure you’re starting to see a pattern here.

I preferred white guys.

But they didn’t—as far as I know—prefer a black girl.

This genre filled an unrequited need in me, especially the interracial stories. My sister and I weren’t allowed to date until we were sixteen. While she had black boyfriends during her high school years, I didn’t have an honest to goodness “real” boyfriend until I met the white man I would end up marrying (and divorcing after 12 years).

eReader vs The Smell of Paper

I cut my romance teeth on Loveswept, Harlequin Superromance, Silhouette Desire, Harlequin Temptation Blaze, and then stuck with Harlequin Blaze for many, many years.

Barnes and Noble was my dealer.

Every month, I’d be down at the nearest BN getting my monthly fix of the latest HB titles (6 new titles would come out every month). These books were a little over 200 pages and I could blow (no pun intended. At least, not really) through one of these per day, and then at least 2-3 on the weekend if I stayed up late.

Which I did. A lot.

“Just one more chapter” was—and still is—a phrase I use all the time.

And when I was done, they would get tucked away on my shelf, never to be read again. My shelves weren’t color coordinated, but I did tend to keep all the same lines together.

But really, they looked like this… a sea of red

When my shelves would get too crowded, I’d donate the books to my local library. They would marvel over how they were in such great shape. And I would tell them, “Well, that’s what happens when they collect dust on a shelf.” LOL

I eventually stepped beyond the HB books and authors like Lori Foster, Melissa Foster (no relation. At least, I don’t think so), Jaci Burton, Shelly Laurenston, J.R. Ward (Lordty, I loved her Black Dagger Brotherhood series. “You feel me?”), Lora Leigh, and Lynsay Sands—to name a few—became regulars on my shelf.

When eReaders came along, it took me all of a week to see the value in purchasing one. It was made for book ‘ho’s like me who gobbled up books like Pringles. But there were other advantages, too:

~ No more reader shaming from family, friends, and sometimes the older male clerks at BN #fuckyoumotherfuckers? Check

~ Unlimited TBR queue? Check

~ No more shoving 2-3 books in my purse? Checkity-check-check-check

My loyalty was still to BN, so, of course, I bought a Nook.

Did I miss eyebanging the covers with gorgeous men that I peeked at sometimes while I read? Yes.

Did I miss eyebanging the covers filled chiseled muscly torsos? Yes.

Did I miss flipping actual paper pages and using my collection of bookmarks to save my place within those pages? Yes.

But the positives—see above—outweighed the negatives and I lived happily ever after in Romancelandia.

The End.

Just kidding.

That Nook was a godsend, for sure.

Until my bestie told me about Kindle Unlimited (KU).

Nook vs KU

“You can borrow as many free books as you want and return them when you’re done. For only ten bucks a month,” she says.

Unlike the first time, I didn’t defect right away. I mean, BN was My Place. My Literary Dealer, if you will. Around that time, I was going through a pretty comprehensive transcript proofreading program where an iPad wasn’t exactly a requirement, but it would help if you were away from your desktop. Mr. Ex bought me a mini-iPad (which I’m still using), so I gave my Nook to my bestie (who was reading from her damn phone!) and downloaded the Nook app.

A couple of months later, I downloaded the Kindle app and basically kicked BN to the curb.

Amazon—and in turn, KU—have now become my Literary Dealer.

I was (figuratively) spreading my legs for a new pimp.

Guess I wasn’t as loyal as I thought I was.

But I had two good reasons:

The first, one monthly price for borrowing up to ten books.

Even though ebooks were cheaper than paperbacks, I was buying them individually through BN; where they ended up languishing on my “virtual” shelf, never to be read again.

You’re seeing a pattern here, right?

To me, KU was like going to my local library. Minus the late fees.

For one low, monthly price, I could borrow up to ten books.

Any time I wanted.

I didn’t have to wait until my next paycheck.

And I could return them.

Any time I wanted.

Without late fees.

And without taking up space on my “virtual” shelf.

The second reason?

Thank you for reading Lit*er*al*ly, Ororo. This post is public so feel free to share it.

KU is a Creepy Stalker… but in a good (literary) way

I like my heroes flawed and drop-dead gorgeous, my heroines strong and feisty (even if that doesn’t happen until the end), and the sexy times hot enough to make me change my underwear (it’s happened). The subgenres I love to read are:

Contemporary

Paranormal (shifter and/or vampire only. Similar to Lynsay Sands, J.R. Ward, or Shelly Laurenston)

Suspense (similar to Anna Hackett or Susan Stoker)

Interracial/Multicultural

Erotic (no BDSM, same-sex, menage, or reverse harem)

My preferences also include:

· M/F couples in the primary hero/heroine roles (but I'm an ally for LGBTQ+ supporting characters).

· No end-of-book cliffhangers (as in "Find out what happens in the next book!"). I want a HEA or an HFN (Happy For Now).

· I like Light MC. No dark motorcycle club Sons of Anarchy kind of shit.

· No large age gap (not a fan of 20+ year differences)/Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby shit.

I also prefer reading books in a series. Whether it’s based in a small town, a station full of firefighters, a family of siblings, men in a security firm, mountain men, stories written by one author, or based on a theme written by an author collective… I am all over series romance like white on rice.

When the pandemic hit, my parents got COVID toward the end of March 2020 and my Dad ended up in the hospital for ten days because of it. I was lucky enough to still have a Corporate Hell Job and able to work from home.

However, I had less time to read.

And without really trying, I accidently stumbled across author Jane Fox’s Zaftig Dating Agency series.

From that moment on, I was hooked on short stories and novelettes. I could read these in 30, 60, or 90 minutes.

Which meant I read several of these a day.

Which added up to, like, twenty or more a week.

My TBR queue is now dominated by short story authors like Jane Fox (who used to be an auto-download for me at one point), Olivia T. Turner, Loni Ree, Mink, Brynn Hale, Emma Bray, Tamrin Banks, Cassie Mint, Nichole Rose, C.L. Cruz, etc… and on occasion, a full-length novel by Anna Hackett (who’s become a near auto-download with the contemporary series she writes).

And KU documents it all in their Reading Insights feature. Are you familiar with this?

I never paid attention to it until I opened my iPad one day and a message popped up telling me my screentime had jumped to some high percentage.

I somehow must’ve turned on this feature and I’ve been finding out all sorts of interesting info about my reading habits since 2019:

My Library

At some point, KU upped their borrowing number to 20, so I keep the max in my queue as much as possible. I have a Book List on Amazon that I delve into when I’m ready to reload. This is what a full library typically looks like for me. Look at all that gorgeous HAWTNESS.

Reading Challenges

Kindle has New Year, Spring, Summer, Epic Summer, and Year End reading challenges where you can unlock achievements. I’ve inadvertently been participating.

Spring Challenge - April 1-June 30th, 2024. I actually unlocked the Perfect Week one recently

I unlocked 13 achievements participating in the New Year Challenge that occurred January-March,2024.

Reading Streaks

I’m breaking reading streaks all over the goddamn place. But I’m not surprised. This is how book ‘ho’s roll.

Reading Days

Um. I read. A lot. Like, every day. As you can see from my stats since Nov 2023.

What I’ve Finished

This is my favorite aspect of the RI feature. It tells me how many book titles I’ve read over the past 5 years:

2019 - 48

2020 - 236

2021 - 417

2022 - 498

2023 - 399

2024 - 83 (so far)

So, there you have it. The life of a Book ‘Ho (I really need to make a T-shirt that says this). Dear subscribers, I’d love to know your answer to Sara’s questions. Comment below and even include a link if you created a post like I did.

Literal*ly, Ororo

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Lit*er*al*ly, Ororo

When you're lit*er*al*ly a book 'ho