Welcome to the 46th issue of Lit*er*al*ly, Ororo, a weekly blog by me, Ororo Munroe, speaking my truth inspired by the 3000 Questions About Me journal. I mean, it’s a personal blog. And since I’ll be sharing all my personal bits, why not do so in the not-so-typical form of questions? Thanks for reading. Participation is encouraged.
556. Have you ever needed an eye test?
I can honestly say that I think this is where the person behind these questions had a Jump the Shark1 moment. But my is response
557. Do you carry anything with you for self-defense when you leave your home?
No! But I should. My co-worker carries a whistle on her keychain. She always puts it in her mouth when she leaves, so she can be ready. I do keep my head on a swivel, though, and my keys in my hand with the key sticking out between my fingers. Like I shiv.
558. If you could read minds, whose would you read first?
Back in the day, there was this movie called “The Beastmaster”. Lordty, that Marc Singer dude was fuckin’ H-A-W-T back then. And then they made a TV series out of it, and I have to say Thank you, TV Gods, for the weekly eye candy I loved the way he was able to communicate with animals, especially the tiger and eagle he traveled with. If I could read minds, it would be the minds of animals. A regular Dr. Doolittle, if you will.
559. What weird behavior or habit did you have as a child that you ditched as you got older?
The weird habits have not been ditched. I still chew my tongue (my sister does it, too, and so does her daughter! LOL), still fondle my earlobe when I’m thinking, and still eat cottage cheese mixed with pork’n’beans. I know that last one sounds gross, but I’m pretty sure it started in some school (after school? nursery school? public school?) where they served food, and everything touched. And I thought, “Well, that’s pretty tasty.”
560. What do you consider both a blessing and a curse?
In my case, the curse would be picking out typos in everything I read (including romance books) and wanting to fix them. The blessing would be knowing I CAN fix them because I’ve had the training to do so.
561. How do you get into your creative zone--and do you have a creative ritual?
I’ll have to come back to this one. Since I’m getting back into writing, I don’t know if I’ll have one. I’m trying to remember what I did when I was writing YA and honestly, I can’t recall. It wasn’t anything specific like lighting a candle, grabbing a cup of coffee, and setting an intention for Good Writing Vibes. I believe it was just re-reading what I had previously written and then just jumping in. Which is what a pantser2 does. Which is what I am.
562. If you were entering a baking contest, what recipe would you make?
Baking contest…
Homegirl here does not bake. No baking in this house.
563. If you were out at dinner with no cash, what would you do or say to get the bill paid?
First of all, I’d be asking the waitress why it’s a cash-only restaurant and why the fuck wasn’t I told from the get-go. Who the fuck carries cash? I sure as hell don’t! I mean, well, my Dad does, actually, so…whatev. But hell, it’s like Christmas when I DO find cash tucked away in my wallet (usually from when my Dad paid me back for buying something).
Second, if this really happened, I would find the nearest ATM and tell them I’m going to get cash and have them hold my driver’s license as collateral. Because we all know people will come back for THAT.
564. What is an enemy to our existence or way of life?
Trump. And yes, I realize that said “what” not “who”. Answer still stands.
565. Do you think “Barbie” is a negative role model for young girls?
Fuck yes! I wholeheartedly agree. Because:
1) Barbie is not body positive. You can dress her up—literally—however you want, but she doesn’t represent the body type of a real female. And it doesn’t help that society perpetuates this “perfect” figure, as we can see with all the body-shaming going on these days.
2) It took Mattel DECADES to create a Barbie of color. 1980, by the way. Have you seen the documentary on Netflix?
I’m kicking my soapbox underneath my desk because I could GO OFF on this subject. Needless to say, Questionnaire Person opened Pandora’s Box for me on this question. Hoo, chile… lemme sit my ass down and finish answering the rest of these questions.
566. If you saw a unicorn in the middle of the woods, what would you do?
Lose. My. Shit. For reals. My scream of excitement would more than likely scare her away, poor thing. But I wouldn’t go near her unless I had those powers I mentioned in question #558 because I remember what happened when that girl in the movie “Legend” touched the unicorn.
Oh, you don’t remember? Go watch the movie. Things went to hell in a handbasket—literally—before Tom Cruise and his elf buddies saved the day.
I recently read a shifter book where the heroine could SHIFT INTO A UNICORN! No lie. And she was being hunted because her My-Little-Pony-colorful-swirled horn had special healing powers. It was the first time I’d ever read a shifter book about a character shifting into a unicorn, and I was like, “That. Is. Fucking. AWESOMESAUCE!” I gave that book 5 stars. Obvi.
567. When you have to study for a test, what is a proven, successful method?
Complete and total silence. And flash cards.
568. What’s a common topic at your dinner table?
Lately? Mom and how she’s been “Mom-ing.” Her reaction is always surprise and disbelief. But, well, that’s dementia for ya.
569. Have you ever thought about dating a really good friend?
No. Although that’s a popular trope in the romance world. One of my lifelong BFFs is a man. He was one of my Bridesman when I got married centuries years ago. We had told each other that if we weren’t married by a certain age (probably 30?) that we would marry each other. Pretty sure this was the same premise for a romance book, but we weren’t serious when we made the joke. And it really was a joke. I love him to death, but I never loved-loved him.
570. Is change easy for you?
In certain instances, yes. Like getting my own humble abode. When it comes to the Corp Hell Job? No. No. And fuck no. Because the changes are never good and it’s always the worker bees that get shafted and fucked over.
It’s your turn. This inquiring mind wants to know your answers to these burning questions.
Lit*er*al*ly Ororo is free today. But if you enjoyed this post, you can tell me that my writing is fucking awesomesauce by pledging your support. Your Benjamins will go towards my GTFO of The U.S. piggy bank.
A term that is used to argue that a creative work or entity has reached a point in which it has exhausted its core intent and is introducing new ideas that are discordant with, or an extreme exaggeration of, its original purpose. The phrase was coined in 1985 by radio personality Jon Hein in response to a 1977 episode from the fifth season of the American sitcom Happy Days, in which the character of Fonzie (Henry Winkler) jumps over a live shark while on water-skis. – Thank you, Wikipedia
Pantsers are writers who don’t plot out the story or use outlines. We just like to “fly by the seat of our pants,” or y’know, just wing it.
Do they still have that cake where all you had to do was add water in the makeshift paper baking pan and then you microwaved it and squeezed out the frosting from a pouch? That sh!t was yummy. Quick check...looks like they took it off the market. Surely, it was pure chemicals...and as a kid, we made it all the effing time. Baking is soothing, Ororo. You may want to play with it one day. And there are tons of microwave mug cake recipes now. (I haven't owned a microwave in decades because I think they are trash, but I love to make a quick bake cake with a ripe banana and chocolate protein powder. It's closer to a molten lava cake that a sponge, but delightful in a pinch.) xo
OK, I love this post so much because you are the absolute queen of letting your freak-flag fly! From reading the Beastmaster's mind to scolding Mia Sara about unicorns (Mia Sara, you stupid bitch! Why didn’t you listen to Tom?) to the beans and cottage cheese concoction--this level of pure honesty is hella refreshing, lol :)